The Many Deaths of Toby, the Wolverine Mascot from Red Dawn [Full Post]
- Moonwalked into a minefield.
- Failed to give correct password to a sentry. Handler explained mascots don’t speak. Handler was also shot on the spot.
- Hilarious lewd dance performed around Captain Lee of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea Armed Forces led to much less hilarious repeated stabbings by bayonet.
- Accidental discharge of t-shirt cannon gave away position as well as several “Wolverines Roar!” novelty shirts to North Korean troops.
- Mascot Fight with official North Korean mascot became bloodbath after it turned out Kim Jong Un “mascot” actually real person who leads North Korea.
- Handsprings into minefield. [Keep Reading]
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